People are always telling me, "May, stop singing, my ears are bleeding," "May, why did you poison me with this bowl of goop?" All this time I've been having adventurers go and collect the things I need to be the most awesome singer/cook/shopkeeper when the real solution to my problems was always right in front of me! I should just be an adventurer myself! Why not? I'm clearly the best at everything, and then I wouldn't have to wait around for these nincompoops to bring me things.
And there's so much to explore out there in Altera! So much to see! Here's just a few of the sights I experienced this month:
The Dragon Expedition: Enter the Mobius Realm
Have you been to the Garden of Eternity lately? Well there's this creepy portal there now. I talked to some of the people in Saint's Haven (I know! I finally made it!) and they told me the portal leads to some creepy other dimension called the Mobius Realm. Some chick named Sarasa is leading an expedition there. I don't know why- I can't get in. You need a buddy to enter the portal and no one wants to go with me. I wonder why?
I hear the Mobius Realm is constantly shifting, so each time an explorer enters it's a brand new adventure. Anyways, if you want to know more, here are all the clues and facts I discovered during my trip.
Apocrypha 2: Codename Zero
I've always wanted to visit the Tel Numara Desert but my trip there was so sad. All the pretty buildings were on fire! Apparently Jasmine burned it to the ground and worse, she's kidnapped poor Daisy!
I'd save her myself but, well... I have a shop to run, people!
If you are brave enough to enter the desert, be warned it's a total warzone. Jasmine's stirred up quite a ruckus, and now the Ironfist Company and Dragon Cultists are fighting over the Ancient Shrine.
That's sounds bad, but at least there aren't any ghosts! If you trek into the Arunut Valley watch out for Sharid, the guardian of the dead. Evil grave robbers have disturbed her and now she's out for blood!
Too spooky for me. I just wanted to check out some rock arches and work on my tan. But if you're, you know, a crazy person who's not afraid of ghosts, then head to the Liverwort Marina to enter the portal. And read my full report for more details.
We all know May is Altera's finest fashion connoisseur (what, a girl can't talk in third person?). So when I tell you that the new Luminous Wings and Light Weapon Costumes are the most chic designs to hit the runway at this year's Saint's Haven Fashion Show, then you know it must be true.
IT MUST BE TRUE!!
If glowing wings and energy weapons aren't your thing, then try out the new Magic Costumes, available for all types of adventurers! I want to track down the designer behind the Archer dress because it's so cool I could kiss him.
I also saw some pretty cute new pets at the fashion show. Hey, fashion's not just for people! Pets need to look good too, you know!
I can't decide if the Manticore is cute or creepy. Okay, never mind. It's pretty freaking cute. And if you want it to be even cuter, you can dress it up with a silly hat or mustache!
Nothing's better than a unicorn. What girl doesn't dream of riding her very own unicorn some day? And let's face it: ponies are lame. But not unicorns. They're sparkly! You can read my full sartorial report here.
Dragon Nest Digest Vol. 6: Mentoring
The Dragon Nest Digest is without a doubt my favorite magazine, other than the Super Slop Quarterly (did you know you can make a quiche with super slop???).
This month the digest is teaching us all about Mentoring. I'm so talented I don't need a mentor, but I know there are a lot of adventurers out there who could use the helping hand.
So if you're an experienced and well-traveled hero, then let everyone know you're a Mentor and you'll snag some Pupils in no time! As your pupil gets stronger and smarter, you get to reap rewards and even get some sweet new titles! Also, every time you help your Pupil explore a dungeon, you'll get Respect, making it easier for you to build your Pupil army!
And if you're a pupil looking for a mentor, check out the classifieds. I wonder why no one's responded to the drummer classified I put out? All my band needs is a sick drummer and we'll be on our way to the Saint's Haven Arena in no time. Read more about mentoring and the classifieds here.
Well, that's it for my Three Hour Cruise of Altera. Now it's back to my boring old life in Carderock Pass. When will my true love take... ahh, forget it.